Thursday, April 10, 2014

Moving from Bangkok to Jakarta Drunk Post

In Vino Veritas Or. Blind Drunk Blogging after Uber Party. Or. Why you Should Snort Feces Rather than Move to Jakarta


Listen. This lil' momma likes to drink and recently Bangkok has offered her sweet nectar of life up for the gulping. I'm talking about Free Flow parties, baby. A launch party or two every week for a new company or resto whateva. (If you're an intern or student on exchange this city is ideal for you). Last night it was the launch of Uber Taxi in Thailand, and lemme tell you I was Moses in the Red Sea, a midget surrounded by walls of alcohol and my safe passage could only be guaranteed by my ability to drink my way through. I basically opened the flood gates with MY MOUTH. We were standing in the main bar area of Ku De Ta (a miracle, never saw it full before) and every 30 seconds a new drink would pass. I have restraint (yup) but c'mon, I was hanging with the cool kids in the internet crowd, you know, Pomelo Fashion, LINE chat, ex Rocket, and these kitties also like their fair share of bacchanal. Needless to say, mojitos were only the beginning, shots brought the chickens home to roost. Anyways, long story short. The night ended with me taking a time out, riding Rhonda home and answering THIS EMAIL BELOW. 

I forgot about it until I read it the next morning. I was shocked. But you know what, eff it. While I grimace at its crudity I decided to post it because I couldn't have been more honest with you about moving to Jakarta. I understand many people like living in Jakarta as an expat (perverts..nah my old roomie who is a normal female really likes it), but I rather snort fermented feces than ever go back to living there. (Second) long story short, DO NOT DO IT. Indonesia and Indonesians are great though, just not Jakarta. Thanks dude for the email. I understand if you want to never ask me anything again ever for a little while. This buzzfeed article might offer you more insight though :). Obviously if you disagree then go..take a walk. I mean, share your comments below. Jeez, I don't know what it is about this city that channels all of my negative energy. 


    • Hello Felicia,
      S*** here. I am just a guy who is probably going to move to Jakarta soon. I am living in Bangkok now.. yes.. I know maybe it is not a good change... but I guess that is the way it is.. anyway... 
      Are you still living there?
      I came across your blog, congrats for that. I liked it.
      I have already been in Jakarta few times, and I guess I am already aware of its general problems: crazy traffic jams, no roads to walk, etc

      However, I just would like to have a very general point of view of somebody that has been living there (expat) for a while and get to know how everyday life actually can be there.

      I am obviously not expecting Jakarta to be Bangkok... just generally wondering how it would be.

      Don't want to bother you, I know this kind of emails are not pleasant, specially when you do not know the other peson at all.

      By the way, I saw you enjoyed Kolour Sundays in Bangkok some time ago... We had a crazy one last Sunday... 

      Cheers,
      S***


    • Daily life differences:
      1) Cannot walk. your life will be the culmination of of one a/c bubble to another.

    • 2) The general air around you stinks. That may not be a big deal to you, but as a canadian, i love fresh(ish) air. In jakarta, get used to asphyxiating always.

    • 3) the people don't get the 'sabai sabai' mentality. There is an air of stress and depression as omnipotent as the stink 

    • 4) live by night. day time in jakarta involves only living through work and traffic jams. The only stress free zones come through partying (which, i love..but after one week it gets old)

    • 5) club indo girls (ayam) are easy and western chicks are desperate. No girls get d*ck there or casual sex unless they act completely wanton. the result? women are easy pickings.

      The summary: you will hate your life by day. You will spend most of your time plotting your bali escape and you will have insane party nights. If you are an ugly desperate dude this place will be the best thing ever. (if youre a woman I have coined the term Vagina Graveyard, bc any sensible woman would not hook up with the scum that collects there, thereby starving their lady parts to moribund.

      Anyways, don't ask me for jakarta advice if you are looking for a positive reinforcement for your decision to move there.

If you find yourself here then at least have a good time with these tips on where to drink without prositutes, eat locally and shop vintage in Jakarta, bros. 

Let the good times roll

My Indie Music Reco of the Week ! Cute but too simple